David Woodhouse wrote:
> I am very supportive of women in our community, and would very much like
> it to be a more welcoming environment. But I feel strongly that this
> kind of thing is entirely counter-productive. In a sense it *is*
> belittling, because we're focusing on trivia like Mark's talk instead of
> the *real* problem.
>
> The *real* problem, as I understand it, is more the occasional (or,
> unfortunately, not so occasional) misogynist whose behaviour towards
> individuals is threatening/demeaning/objectifying/etc. Or less often
> their behaviour towards a group of people; perhaps by using
> *egregiously* inappropriate images.
>
> By making a fuss about non-issues or even borderline cases, we only
> serve to make *that* person more strongly believe that there is no place
> for women, children and the mentally ill in 'his' environment. And thus
> we make the *real* problem worse.
So despite my deeply personal response, explaining why Mark's talk made me feel
uncomfortable, you're telling me that Mark's talk is a non-issue or a borderline
case that I shouldn't be making a fuss over. Way to go with the marginalising!
If you're supportive of women in our community then please *listen* to the women
in our community when we try to tell you that talks like Mark's make things
worse. Please listen to us when we tell you that having an anti-harassment
policy makes us more comfortable. Please listen to us when we raise concerns
rather than telling us we should be concerned about some other problem. We are
the ones who get assaulted by the "occasional misogynists" that you're worried
about. We also get assaulted by apparently charming and sweet guys who want to
buy us drinks, then get us on our own and who seem to really struggle to take
"no" for an answer.
As was so wonderfully put in Chris Clarke's "How not to be an Asshole: A guide
for men" (
http://www.myleftwing.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=16014 )
When the topic at hand is men not taking an issue seriously, suggesting
that the issue might not really be all that serious is not being
dispassionate. It is, in fact, taking a side. And the people on the side
you're taking, incidentally, include the gropers, the rapists, the
sexual-favor-demanding bosses.
Telling me that this is a non-issue, because it's not an issue for you, is not
being dispassionate, and it is most certainly not being supportive of women.
Jacinta
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Received on Tue Feb 01 2011 - 15:36:40 GMT